the longest kiss

Depression is not a sign of being week, it’s a sign of trying to be too strong for too long.

I read this today. It’s so true. I spent so many years fixing everyone’s problems that I forgot about mine. I tried to put on a brave face and I tried to be happy when all I wanted to do was scream my heart out. I still do this. I have breakdowns now and then. But I can’t tell you how much I want to tear out my heart. I’ve been reminiscing, and I shouldn’t because it makes me upset. I miss being your little china doll. I miss being your skinny emo. I miss being DMG.
I don’t want to grow up.
I like the feeling of real love. But I spend more of my time worrying that I’m going to lose it than just enjoying it. I like that I can do more grown up things now. But there are lots of things that I’m still to scared to do.
I’d like to just be a page in a book. Or a lyric in a song. But life isn’t a fairytale. I need to make my own fairytale. I can be Abi in Wonderland, right?

good night

it's stroke-time

let's get paralysed down both sides

snake hips, red city kiss

and your black eyes roll back

Midnight organ fight

yours gives into mine

this is the longest kiss good night

♥